


when sun sets

by tototooru



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, lapslock, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-15 18:25:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9250163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tototooru/pseuds/tototooru
Summary: minhyuk has always cared about other people's happiness but never about his own





	1. dawn

"you look sad," a boy's voice sounded, making hyunwoo look up at the brunette standing in front of him with a wide smile.

hyunwoo wasn't used to talking with strangers even if they were around his age because he was somewhat shy around people, especially if they started a conversation with him out of nowhere and for basically no reason at all, so he ignored the other. he was looking at him for a while, then he glanced back at his phone and hoped that the class started sooner. or, in the best case, that the brunette walked away.

"if you think of happy things, you won't be sad," the boy spoke again.

hyunwoo rolled his eyes because of the strong annoyance he felt and couldn't manage to hold in. he let out a deep sigh and looked at the seemingly younger male again. "i don't think emotions work like that."

the other was definitely making fun of hyunwoo in his head, judging by the even wider smile his lips had curved into. "of course they do, silly. you have no reason to be sad when there are so many reasons to be happy."

suddenly, the bell, indicating the start of the next class, rang and the boy was gone down the hallway in just a few seconds, not letting hyunwoo say anything.

_we_ _irdo_ , he thought.

he easily forgot about the boy with the bright smile.

he also didn't see him around in school that often nor did he pay much attention to his presence.

he never bothered to talk to him again.

\--

_a ray of sunshine was_ _peeking_ _above the horizon, painting the sky_ _orange_


	2. sunrise

"you're sad again... _t_ _hat's a pity._ " a stranger's voice made hyunwoo look up from his phone.

a hint of a smile appeared on his face as he saw the person standing in front of him. "you've grown."

a few years had passed since hyunwoo saw the boy for what he thought was the last time. he was already in university and wasn't expecting to see a familiar face there. He quickly recognized the other even though he had changed. he was way taller, his voice was different and he had bleached his hair. the only thing that hadn't changed was his warm smile that never seemed to disappear from his face and no one could simply mistake.

"the moment i saw you and that frown of yours i knew it was you." the younger male sounded really excited. it was amazing how small things like meeting a person he spoke to once in high school made him so happy. hyunwoo was wondering what were the things that made him the happiest. "i'm minhyuk, by the way," he finally introduced himself after so long.

"hyunwoo..."

minhyuk sat next to hyunwoo, looking into his phone, trying to figure out what the other was doing on it. they were sitting in silence, but hyunwoo didn't feel as uncomfortable or even annoyed by the fact that someone was peeking into his phone, though he really hated his private space being violated like that. minhyuk was just like a little curious kid.

"you should really cheer up," minhyuk said.

"and you should _really_ understand that people can't control if they're happy or sad."

"that's not true!" minhyuk crossed his arms with a pout on his face. "you should listen to me more. i perfectly know what i'm saying and i'm indeed saying it for a reason. every time i'm sad, i just think of happy things. try it once."

hyunwoo shrugged and looked at minhyuk with the most skeptical look he could pull off. "what if there's nothing happy to think about?"

" _th_ _ere always is_!" the blonde was about to continue, but someone called him and he got up. "i'm sorry, i have to go."

just like before, he disappeared with the speed of light.

 _a_ _t least he's still weird_ , hyunwoo thought with a smile plastered on his lips.

\-----

"hyunwoo!" minhyuk was waving from the university building's entrance. hyunwoo was already on the sidewalk, ready to go home, but he stood there and waited for the boy who was now running towards him. when he got there minhyuk stopped in front of the other, taking his time to catch his breath.

"you could've walked normally. i wasn't going to run off or anything." hyunwoo snorted as minhyuk looked up at him, whispering " _oh_ ". he ruffled the younger's hair before helping him with his bag (that unfortunately didn't only look heavy).

they went to a nearby cafe because minhyuk suggested it and they both saw it as a good opportunity to study along with a cup of coffee to warm them up in the chilly weather. or it was just an excuse for them to get to know each other better.

"by the way," hyunwoo started, "don't you have friends you hang out with? i've never seen you with anyone. even back in high school."

"of course I have friends, don't be ridiculous." minhyuk glossed over his lie with a bright smile and a giggle as he always did when it was the most convenient for him. the truth was that he was talking to many people but he couldn't hang around with any of them, not to mention to call them his friends. he just didn't feel comfortable enough in anyone's company.

hyunwoo easily fell for it and he didn't question it a second time even though it was so evident.

"your handwriting is pretty," hyunwoo remarked as he paid more and more attention to how well organised minhyuk's notes in his textbook were. at the edges of most pages there were small, colorful doodles hyunwoo found exceptionally cute because they managed to fit minhyuk's personality quite well even if they were flowers and bunnies.

minhyuk looked up with a faint red tint on his cheeks. "thank you," he mumbled. he took a sip from his coffee and continued writing the essay he was currently working on. "do you have highlighters?"

"no. never needed."

"ah," minhyuk lightly tilted his head to the right, a bit disappointed. "i've forgotten mine at home."

after a while hyunwoo was done since he didn't have much work to do, so the only thing he had left was to watch minhyuk. from calm the younger's expression had changed to nervous. seemed like he was making more and more mistakes because in the end he just ripped off the sheet and crumpled it, putting it aside, letting out a loud sigh afterwards. "i give up," he said, defeated by the fact he couldn't complete the task he was given.

"what do you have to write about?" hyunwoo asked.

"that's the problem... i have to choose the subject... i only know that it has to be connected with psychology and human thinking..." minhyuk started nervously playing with his pen until he put it on the table, remembering that there were other people around him and that he had to act _normally_ , not letting his demons outside. also... he didn't want hyunwoo to start thinking that he was weird. "nevermind that." his sweet saccharine smile was back on his face instantly. "apparently, i will write it at home. i don't need to hand it this week anyways."

"do you need help?"

"i'm fine, don't worry."

when minhyuk was done with his coffee, hyunwoo walked him home. through the whole way to minhyuk's house the younger couldn't stop talking about how happy he was that they met again and that it was probably the best thing that happened to him in a really long time.

hyunwoo was wondering how many things were happening in his life, so _that_ was the best one. or if he had many good moments at all.

\-----

hyunwoo and minhyuk were walking hyunwoo's dog on a field nearby minhyuk's house. it was used as a dog park for the past few years, so there were many dogs around and for minhyuk it always felt like dog heaven since he really loved dogs and animals in general. and he was absolutely in love with hyunwoo's dog because it was the weirdest corgi in the whole planet and he was seriously planning to steal it. because he loved it _that_ much.

therefore, he decided to take hyunwoo with him to the improvised park. of course, to take a walk with hyunwoo. not because he wanted to spend as much time with the corgi as possible.

but as hyunwoo expected, the younger spent quality time petting all of the dogs that were there, trying to give all of them equal amounts of attention, and playing with hyunwoo's corgi until he was too tired to move. he lied next to the older, who was sitting on the grass on top of a small hill and smiling at how excited minhyuk was because of the dogs.

"they're coming for you," hyunwoo said.

minhyuk didn't have time to realize what he said when a few dogs ran towards him and started playing with him. "o _h_ _nooo_ ," minhyuk laughed, trying to hug all of them at once without bothering to get up. "please, i'm too tired to play. i love all of you, but i need to rest for a while."

around half an hour passed until the only dog left not only around Minhyuk but also on the field was hyunwoo's, because the sun was already setting and the owners were going back home by that time.

hyunwoo's dog was curled on the blond's stomach since it had decided it was the most comfortable place to fall asleep on.

" _i_ _love dogs so much,_ " minhyuk breathed out with a lot of exhaustion in his voice, while rubbing the dog's neck. "actually, i didn't get to know what's her name," he pointed at the corgi.

"i can't tell you. you're going to laugh." hyunwoo lied back on the grass next to minhyuk, looking at him.

"i won't, i promise."

"mochi."

minhyuk looked down at the dog, thinking for a while. what he didn't want to make obvious was that he was _so close_ to bursting out into laughter because hyunwoo was so lame (in a cute way). hyunwoo didn't look like the type to call his dog anything like that. "it... suits her..."

while they were both petting mochi their hands accidentally touched. they quickly pulled their hands away. "sorry," they said. minhyuk was blushing really hard. his hand shakily moved back to mochi and he was hoping hyunwoo's did, too. and it did. the older's hand rested on the other's. it felt warm.

"this time it wasn't an accident, huh?" minhyuk smiled sweetly.

"shut up," hyunwoo muttered, looking away and grabbing the younger's hand properly, entwining their fingers.

\-----

the blonde was eating alone on a bench in the back of the university's building. he started going there lately since he didn't like the overcrowded cafeteria. it wasn't comfortable for him to be around so many people. after all, he never hung out with anyone, so there was no reason for him to be where he wasn't needed.

he preferred silence and loneliness since it was the only circumstance under which he could be himself and didn't have to put on a fake smile. he also had time to think. it was a big irony that he liked being alone. usually, he was the one who talked to people first. he was the one who started pointless conversations just because he felt like it and because he saw a potential friendship in the face of someone.

"and I started wondering where you're going," a voice distracted minhyuk from his train on thoughts.

minhyuk looked around, trying to find where the voice was coming from. eventually, he realized that it was coming from above him. he looked up to see hyunwoo leaning on the window above the bench.

"it's more peaceful here," minhyuk responded with a smile. "do you want to come and keep me company?"

"of course."

hyunwoo was there in no time. surprisingly for minhyuk, he was glad that hyunwoo was there. what he felt when he was with other people was completely opposite from what he felt when he was with hyunwoo. they didn't meet up a lot even though they knew each other for a few months already, but they were still keeping in touch through texts. sometimes they went out for a walk with mochi but it seemed like they never wanted to go out when it was just the two of them. they always had reasons for going out - studying, taking mochi outside and such. they never went out together just because.

"you seem happy," minhyuk ascertained.

"i feel happy lately. not really sure why, though."

"well, it was about time for you to stop being sulky." The younger pinched hyunwoo's cheek. he wanted to be truly happy, too. what he currently had was probably enough, but he knew he'd need more than that soon.

it had always been quite easy for him to hide how sad he actually was. hyunwoo made it difficult. it made minhyuk want to be himself at least around the older. but he also didn't want to push him away.

_th_ _ink of happy things._

_yo_ _u will be happy._

_ju_ _st don't get distracted with negative thoughts._

_y_ _ou are strong._

_yo_ _ur emotions aren't controlling you, you are controlling them. don't let them win._

_yo_ _u_ _**are** _ _happy._

\-----

"i want to try something," hyunwoo whispered. he left his textbook and pen aside and looked at minhyuk.

the younger wasn't paying much attention and he got really surprised when he looked up from his book and saw that hyunwoo's face was really close to his own. "... _w_ _-what do you want to try?_ " he stuttered, feeling heat spreading to his whole face.

"something i've wanted to do for a few months already." he just got a nod from minhyuk and he leaned in closer to kiss him. before they had the chance to deepen the kiss, mochi jumped in hyunwoo's lap, scaring minhyuk and causing him to pull away.

" _...mochi,_ " hyunwoo sighed, petting the corgi. minhyuk chuckled, snuggling into the other.

"she's just jealous." from all the things that could ruin their long awaited first kiss, it just _had_ to be the weird corgi.

they were quite shy and awkward because they weren't pretty touchy before that. yet minhyuk was smiling. for the first time he found something that made him truly happy and his smile was more genuine.

"can i kiss you again?" hyunwoo pressed his forehead against minhyuk's.

"sure," the blond hummed.

\-- 

_the sun was rising, ready to spread warmth, completely forgetting that it had to set at the end of_ _the_ _day_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was 7am and i just wanted to play world of warcraft while watching esports i have no idea what i edited


	3. sunset

"i didn't mean to," minhyuk sobbed, curling into a ball as he brought his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs. " _i'm so sorry_ ," he mumbled, not daring to look back at his boyfriend.

hyunwoo was staring at him, not knowing how to react. he found himself dumbfounded because of the sight before him and the fact minhyuk was apologising that he had started crying as if he was obligated to. he felt pathetic for not being able to even move forward and help the other, to calm him, to tell him everything was or at least was going to be okay.

"please, leave. you saw too much already."

and he really did. he left. minhyuk felt his heart beating faster as he heard the door close after hyunwoo went out of the room. and then the front door.

but, after all, that's what he wanted. who was hyunwoo to protest?

the blond was left to cry until there were no tears coming out. he was just lying on his bed, staring blankly at the wall.

according to him, his relationship with hyunwoo was over. because he was lying to him for so long but then he let himself cry in front of hyunwoo. he let himself be sad. there was no way hyunwoo would want to even look at him. nobody liked liars.

everything was going to be okay if he just ignored him. the next day he would just pass him by, pretending that there had never been anything between them.

he had never felt so weak. he didn't even suppose it was going to happen.

they had a small fight. nothing to cause anyone crying. yet minhyuk lost control over himself.

and now he was planning on how to ignore a person who didn't even know they had "broken up".

\--

the next few days were quite hard for minhyuk. he was so used to hyunwoo being around. but he didn't even see him. he didn't call nor tried to contact minhyuk in any other way. obviously minhyuk really pushed him away.

when he had had enough and everything was too much something even worse than crying in front of hyunwoo happened. he had a panic attack in the middle of a lecture and had to go outside.

it happened because of how much he missed hyunwoo and the thought that he was never going to talk to him again. now so many people got to see how pathetic he actually was.

he had no one to call to get him out of there. the only person he could turn to was hyunwoo. he didn't want that. he didn't want to hear his voice.

but he did it, he called him. so there was no turning back. hyunwoo had already picked up.

"hyunwoo?" the blond spoke with a shaky voice.

" _what is it, minhyuk?_ " the other sounded concerned and all of a sudden minhyuk had a little bit of hope. " _you don't sound okay.._."

"if you're not busy, could you come to pick me up?"

hyunwoo was also in lecture but the moment minhyuk told him where in the building he was, he quickly excused himself and ran his way to the male who was sitting on the ground, his hands pulling at his hair.

the older kneeled down, wrapping his arms around minhyuk. he pressed a kiss against his temple while whispering " _everything is okay_ ". they both knew it wasn't.

he had no other choice but to take minhyuk home. not attending lectures for a day wasn't going harm them.

\--

"where is mochi?" minhyuk asked with a sniffle as he walked into hyunwoo's house.

"i think she's in my room. you can go, i will come in a few minutes."

the blond quickly took off his shoes and went to hyunwoo's room where he found mochi sleeping on the bed. he just lied down next to her, hugging her. her nuzzled his face in her soft fur, feeling a lot calmer.

a few minutes later hyunwoo was already sitting next to minhyuk, stroking his hair gently.

"what happened?" the brunette asked.

"i missed you," minhyuk admitted without hesitation. "suddenly, i started thinking about how if i haven't messed up so badly you wouldn't have left me." he started crying all over again, but hyunwoo, on the other hand, was just confused.

"minhyuk, i've never left you and i wouldn't do it just because you started crying. i just thought you needed time. after all, you were the one who told me to leave. did you actually want me to stay?"

"no. not at all... but i didn't expect i would be away from you for so long..." the younger let go of mochi and turned to hyunwoo, hugging him by the waist.

hyunwoo lied down next to minhyuk, brushing his bangs away from his face and kissing him on the forehead afterwards. "i will never leave you again. even if you asked me to." minhyuk just nodded and closed his eyes, feeling the other's scent.

\--

the younger male couldn't help but just see how everything was going down. he knew it was. because nothing could make him even slightly happy anymore. not even hyunwoo.

he was numb. his feelings were numb. the only thing left inside him was sadness and loneliness. but except that it was nothing but emptiness. just one big void taking the place of his soul.

hyunwoo was concerned. of course he was. but no matter how much he tried, it was never enough. the spark in the younger's eyes had left long ago. now they were just two empty dark orbs staring at him, not giving away any emotion.

it had gotten too much for minhyuk. he thought he could pretend he was okay forever. he thought he had gotten a hold of himself after the panic attack. he couldn't hold it in anymore. he was never truly happy and it was more obvious than ever. everything was spilling out.

even the fact hyunwoo looked so worried and did everything possible for him didn't move him at all.

"why did you lie to me?"

"i wasn't planning on telling you ever..." minhyuk flinched as he felt hyunwoo trying to grab his hands. "i've never cared about my happiness... i've never known how to achieve it so i thought lying to myself and everyone else would do the thing. but on the other hand i've always cared if other people are happy or not. and you and your happiness are my priority..."

once again the older couldn't see anything in minhyuk's eyes. even when he said he was his priority, he sounded so cold and indifferent. "do you still love me?"

for a while the blond was silent. "i'm sorry, i don't know." hyunwoo's lips pressed in a thin line. he didn't know what else he was expecting to hear, especially considering minhyuk's current state. he sighed, putting his hands on either side of the other's face.

"i just want to tell you that i knew i was happy the moment i realized i'm in love with you. and i've never stopped being happy ever since then. honestly, i'm so lucky that you walked into my life again."

he stopped when minhyuk wrapped his arms around his neck. eventually, he continued when the other male nodded his head, telling him to do so. " but now when you're like this... i just can't be happy. because i care too much to leave you be sad all alone while i'm happy, not noticing how the light in your eyes is gone... and... i haven't seen you smile in over a week... it hurts me watching you suffer..."

hyunwoo wanted to cry. but he wasn't sure if that was going to make minhyuk feel even worse. he didn't want to trigger his depression more. he probably did enough harm by telling him how he felt.

the moment he mentioned minhyuk's smile, he started doubting if it had ever been genuine. _what if he had been faking it the whole time? what if he had never felt anything for him and he was just forcing himself to pretend?_ that would explain his unsure answer.

suddenly, the younger pressed his lips against hyunwoo's, stopping his train of thoughts. "i will get better, i promise. i will do it for myself, you and our relationship. just... understand that, currently, i can't do anything about that."

both of them didn't have anything else to say, so they lied down on the couch, turning on the tv to watch whatever was currently on.

\--

_"...i'm sorry."_

"for?"

_"i can't keep my promise. i'm just wasting your time. i've been doing it since the very beginning, apparently. and i'm only getting worse... i started all of this and i suppose that i have to be the one to end it, so i think we should break up."_

"minhyuk--"

_"you need someone who will make you happy and you will make happy, too. guess i'm not that person. and, please, don't call me again."_

\--

_the sun wasn't high in the sky anymore. it was now on its way_ _back_ _below the horizon, leaving the ground to get cold._


	4. dusk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will slap myself for every time i was about to write duck

  
"you look sad."

the brunette looked up, not seeing anyone in front of himself. just people walking past. he looked around, getting a bit startled as he saw a familiar older male sitting next to him, his face really close to minhyuk's.

"the tables have turned, huh?" the corners of minhyuk's lips curved upwards.

it's been quite a while since minhyuk and hyunwoo saw each other. at least minhyuk hadn't seen him for a long time. hyunwoo always kept an eye on him to make sure he was going to lectures. sadly, he couldn't make sure he ate properly and couldn't take care of him, but he believed minhyuk didn't want to see him, so he didn't bother him.

lately, minhyuk looked happier and even healthier. it was noticeable and it made hyunwoo much more confident with his decision to talk to him again.

"you've changed your color," hyunwoo pointed out, reaching his hand towards the other's hair, but stopped himself midway not sure if he was allowed to touch him. "can i..." before he could even finish his question minhyuk gave him a small nod. hyunwoo ran his fingers through the younger's hair slowly and warily.

"it was already dying from so much bleaching, so i decided to make a small change." minhyuk was smiling brightly, making hyunwoo's heart flutter.

he was looking into the older's eyes for a while until he grabbed the hand that was tangled in his hair, entwining their fingers, the warm feeling of the other's skin making him feel nostalgic.

for a really long time he had been missing the feeling hyunwoo's touch. he didn't want to break up with him in the first place. he just felt too guilty for wasting hyunwoo's time, knowing that he deserved so much better.

and now that he saw the look in hyunwoo's eyes, he regretted everything he did. he should've kept him close, he realized. for the first time he was aware of how thankful he was. thankful that hyunwoo was in his life even after he tried pushing him away.

"can we start over?" minhyuk asked hesitantly.

"we can..." the hope in minhyuk died off as he heard how unsure hyunwoo sounded, making him think that he shouldn't had asked.

"but?"

the older took a deep breath, his grip on the other's hand getting tighter. "i'm just scared that all of this is going to happen again and you're going to continue lying when you're not feeling okay."

though there were still people around, minhyuk pulled hyunwoo into a kiss. it didn't even matter if anyone was staring. minhyuk did it as reassurance, a promise that he was ready to keep. "none of this will happen again."

\--

the two males were on minhyuk's bed, both neither awake, nor asleep. hyunwoo was lazily combing the younger's hair.

his hand trailed lower, cupping minhyuk's wet from tears cheek. he brushed his thumb against the warm skin, seeing how calm minhyuk looked under his touch.

it was yet another day when minhyuk felt exhausted - in any way possible. he was glad that he didn't have to pretend in front of hyunwoo anymore at least. he could cry it all out without worrying the other was going to judge him.

he slowly opened his eyes, his eyelashes partly blurring the view. he also put his hand on the side of the other's face, his lips curving into a smile. he rubbed his nose against hyunwoo's, making him smile, too.

"remember that one time you asked if i still loved you?" hyunwoo nodded, wondering if minhyuk had been thinking about it until then or if it just popped in his mind. "i've never even stopped."

"why are you telling me this?"

"because you have to know. i was lead by all these negative thoughts and i couldn't even tell you that, yes, i love you. a lot." he got sulky as he wasn't getting any response at all. at some point he even assumed hyunwoo had fallen asleep because he was with his eyes closed and minhyuk couldn't really tell. he also closed his eyes, feeling a bit embarrassed that he confessed his love for hyunwoo properly for the first time but he wasn't even awake to hear it.

it wasn't the last time he was going to tell hyunwoo he loved him so it was fine. he was ready to say it non-stop until he got a response.

hyunwoo wasn't asleep, though. he was just doing his best not to smile because he wanted to give minhyuk an excuse to say that again.

\--

minhyuk's mood swings caused sleepless nights both for him and hyunwoo. sometimes hyunwoo couldn't even go over to his house and trying to calm minhyuk down on the phone was _not_ his speciality.

it was nerve wrecking knowing that minhyuk needed him and he wasn't there for him.

"do you, by any chance, want to live with me? i mean, not now but some time in the future..." hyunwoo wrapped his arm around minhyuk, pulling him closer and looking at his notebook and what he was reading. apparently he was doing some last minute studying.

"you mean... like... t-together," minhyuk stuttered, wanting to make sure he understood what the other said.

"yes." hyunwoo rested his chin on the younger's shoulder, placing a soft kiss against his neck. "i feel bad every time when i have to console you on the phone and living together is probably the only way i can be next to you all the time and make sure you're okay."

minhyuk just nodded, snuggling into hyunwoo. the thought of them living together warmed him. and he knew that soon everything was going to be okay. he could just feel it in the air the same way he felt how lately he was smiling more.

all thanks to hyunwoo.

\--

 _the ground was cold, freezing even. yet it didn't fear. for it knew - the sun was eventually going to rise again_ _._  
  


_after all, everything had its rise and fall_ _._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iVE BEEN WRITING FICS SINCE 2013 AND ITS THE FIRST TIME I FINISH A CHAPTERED ONE  
> THE IMPROVEMENT


End file.
